isn’t it weird how with some people you never run out of things to talk about but with others it’s like you always end up talking about the weather
People in their early twenties still refer to people older than them as “adults”. When do you think they stop… and realize… they are adults
I’m not an adult, I’m a child with a drinking permit.
no, you’re adults
who all think you’re still children
but you’re not
Have you ever heard the phrase cockblocking? You know, you’re at a bar, talking to a girl, and what happens? Her less attractive friend comes over and ruins everything. Cockblock. Well I have to tell you something guys: I have been the less attractive friend, and you were NOT cockblocked. I was following orders from my better-looking friend that she did not wanna fuck you. …Girls have two signals for their friends: ‘I’m gonna fuck him’ and ‘HELP.’Amy Schumer